December Daily 2014

December Daily 2014: Day 3

It's in the Cards

Lately, I have thought a lot about my place in the world: both the place I find myself in by circumstance and the place I have created through action. In a few weeks, I will begin my final year in my thirties. Right now, I'm reflective and filled with questions. Questions about my passions (creative, social, and political). How am I fitting these things into my life? Am I shoving things to the back burner? Am I living authentically?

It's not an existential crisis. But I am reflective. Having two surgeries in 18-months, moving across country, getting laid off...and the soulbreaking weight of this past week's news has me looking deep within.

What does it mean to live where I live? To send my daughter to the school I send her to? Is there room for different choices? Am I brave enough to make different choices? Can I be connected in a deeper way? Can I foster connection (for my family, for my community) in a deeper way?

This is vague. I know.

But..I am looking for ways to give. To share. To be a part of something bigger than my little universe of three people in a small house. I am looking for ways to be a better example to my child. Especially now, in this season of want, want, want. I am wanting to encourage traditions—not just of receiving—but of giving. Giving more than you think you can.

So, yesterday we went to the library and we made cards for people who are homebound and have books delivered to them. It's a small gesture. But, my heart smiles when I picture Lyra's card in a stranger's hands. And it smiles even bigger when I think about how hard she worked to make something great for a person she will never meet. It's a small lesson in giving. I'm trying to be a better teacher.